Bus Stop Ribbon

Awarded to soldiers who stand clueless waiting for that vehicle that never comes.

Deck Swabber Ribbon

Driving Miss Daisy Ribbon

This award is given to soldiers who beckon teammates into a vehicle then proceed to give them a scenic tour of the country. For some inexpliciable reason they are determined to go in the opposite direction of the flag/combat/anything of interest. And, by the time you figure out that you accidently hopped on Happy Larry's Magic Bus Tour, you're at least 2 minutes away from where you thought you were going.

Eagle Scout Ribbon

This award is given to soldiers who sit patiently as their fellow soldiers fall dead around them because that helicopter should respawn in 37.2 seconds. Can also be seen camping for tanks, APCs, jets, and StarWars tickets.

Florence Nightengale Ribbon

Awarded to Medics who attempt to revive the enemy soldiers. Keep trying, I think I saw him twitch.

Hellen Keller Ribbon for Friendly Mine/Claymore Detection

This award is given to those soldiers adept at finding friendly mines and claymores. Kudos to you, soldier.

Peter Cottontail Combat Bravery Ribbon

This award is given to those who like to stay above the action through bunny-hopping. Aim high, soldier. Aim high.

Ripcord Whack-a-mole Ribbon

Awarded for hitting every key on the keyboard except the parachute key.

Stevie Wonder Aviation Ribbon

Awarded for aviation skills demonstrated in combat without the use of eyesight. Usually awarded posthumously.

Viva La Resistance Ribbon

Awarded for running full-speed at a tank with a pistol.

Weapons Malfunction Ribbon

Awarded for emptying an entire clip at the enemy and hitting nothing, while the enemy proceeds to beat you to death with your own helmet.